There is a serenity attached to the voluntary dismissal of your own sense of self value.
When everything loses meaning, time becomes irrelevant.
It’s just one long night.
Forever adrift, yet infinitely stationary. Comforted by the promise of fireworks in the sky, showering the glowing city of sin with its own dazzling display of glitz and awe.
The brightest spot on Earth and the sky above it are now exchanging furious volleys of illumination. Both attempting to match each others escalating shades of intensity and spectrums of chaos, as you drop on in at 32 fps to give your girl a final kiss goodbye and exit the party for the last time.
You see it now.
The image is as clear as day, although the night itself could not be darker.
As vivid as any thought you’ve had in longer than you can even recall and the infinite void above could never be deeper than it is right now.
The polished jade green of the marble sidewalks below, mirror that sparkle of subdued fire that she often kept hidden behind hazel eyes.
A farewell toast to the subdural hematoma as it takes its cue and does what it does best.
The show reaches its crescendo as your brain proceeds to have its own blowout extravaganza. A final frenzied lightning storm of synaptic desperation and the sudden impact snuffs out your everything.
Forever.
All of your thoughts.
All the ideas you’ve ever had.
Every memory that remains, will all lock hands with your last ounces of pain, respectfully takings their bows as the curtain call commences.
Your will to be will cease to be.
Sounds like a fucking party.
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Yes, in a way, it does sound like a party. I am so sorry that you are suffering.